fuckkkk
my fucking match got postponed...its been raining the whole fucking day
its not like we didnt wanna play in the rain
fucking stpats didnt wanna allow players to play on the field while its wet
cause it wants the field to recover because it has been used on fri and sat
LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

there goes my soccer therapy......i was so looking forward to it know
all psyched up and shit
fuck la


so instead of using the time to do smth constructive like studying for my test on monday
i slept
and watched remember the titans
which was fucking nice...so no regrets...k whatever
and then, i slept again

fuck i think i will fail the fucking test even if its just MCQ and true and false
anyway
to prevent this post being emo-fied,
ITALY vs france
FORZA ITALIA!!!! IL RESTO SOLO DETTAGLI
ha bet you fucking munjens dont understand....hahahahahahah
relax la walau would you rather me be emo?

k enough

some random pics.....

dinner at 85 anyone?
the guy above the crocs shop photo, just loves crocs...he told me his life's ambition is to open up his own crocs shop, sell a variety of shapes and sizes, and cater to all age groups.....serious...he loves it...why not( for those in tp), if u see him around me, ask him if he loves crocs? i am sure he will give u an answer filled with passion and vigour....

p.s i love him and he loves me

ssssshhhhhh

had a nice chat with leo and qilah at tcc
they woke me up....
i think what i needed was a fucking slap
so leo slapped me




k just kidding
they slapped me figuratively...
''fuck it shep.....u know fuck it? FUCK IT''
so yes
i know fuck it
and i will fuck it
cause i look back and realise
brooding or emo-ing
isnt gonna help
it wont make her change her mind
not now, not ever
in fact,
my frens get/got hurt in the process
and the last thing i would want
is for the people i care for to have their unnecessary concern heaped on me
and i am thinking all this shit
is happening cause of me
if i wasnt there in the first place
this shit definitely wouldnt have happened...


everyone would be fine and dandy
i wouldnt be reading emo blogs everyday
so yes
its back to the shep at the start
the one people intro-ed as
''hey this is my fren shep,also from law, in my class''

so yes

i've given up on waiting for the apology that will never come
i've given up trying to explain myself
i've given up on miracles
i've given up on trying to be best frens with everyone
i've given up trying to be quiet so i wont hurt peoples feelings, cause they just think i am emo
i've given up trying to be happy

i'll just bury all this
forget about it and hopefully i wont stumble upon this pandora's box of feelings

''best frens'' this is where yall step in and help me
now
now
nowwwww

and smoking is still not the answer

i wanted to blog a whole fucking chunk of shit
about how emo this and emo that
but i decided against it
cause the more i thing about it
the worse it is
ego? frenship?
i am suppose to fuck that shit it seems
since i am suppose to act like nothing happened
i will(cause i want you happy)
and just rot internally

i really wanna be frens with everyone
sad it cant be seen...

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I TOLD YALL MOTHERFUCKERS
ITA-FUCKING-LY
woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
fucking last 2 mins.....
grosso the misunderstood guy.....labelled as a diver unfairly
what a way to answer back his critics man.....
wooooooooo
adrenaline
wooooooooooooo
wooooooooooooooooooo
random fact of the day...every 12 years, italy has managed to reach the world cup finals
1994,1982,1970,1958 and now fucking 2006...woooooooooo

wooooooooooooooooo

sometimes,life's like that
it hits you in the bits
just so you aim a little lower

when you dont wanna aim lower
you dont see anyone else
then u get caught

i really hope i can play soccer every minute of my time now...its the only time my mind is free from everything that is happening now

alrite....peer teaching is over...kudos to wan who fucking blew ferlins mind away...breath of fresh air all....21.5 out of 25 all...mat presentation all...hahaha k i just finished my french project...but i did it too fast and i think it isnt good...cause it was like all copied and pasted...fuck i feel bad...aiya pass can la...

lets see...soccer tomorrow...woooo.....again yes....and i already sent my letter of apology...

hah

and the person i think who saboh-ed me, i think its less possible now....yea...k i have more work to do....so yea...sorry for this stupid blog entry....i shall post some random pictures now

World Cup Crocs...like what the fuck??

story-telling it seems

if theres one thing, that i can do nothing about

"act of vandalism" means —
(a) without the written authority of an authorised officer or representative of the Government or of the government of any Commonwealth or foreign country or of any statutory body or authority or of any armed force lawfully present in Singapore in the case of public property, or without the written consent of the owner or occupier in the case of private property —
(i) writing, drawing, painting, marking or inscribing on any public property or private property any word, slogan, caricature, drawing, mark, symbol or other thing;

=====================================================================

i think i need to read this everynight before i sleep...i wanted to write an emo entry about how another fucked up incident has happenned blablabla(cue simple plan song) but i decided to be positive and look at the positives(redundant?=p)....

Mr ferlin is the head of discipline for law so he could easily just inform my parents and stuff...but he told me the worst possible outcome is that i use thinner and wipe it off as compared to real disciplinary action like fines and what else...so yea kinda relieved at that..

and thanks to the people from 2L05 who stood and watched and gaped and laughed and gawked and smiled smugly and pointed and gazed and basically just enjoyed a free show...damn bastard la...haha it was embarrassing enough k...

p.s i think i have an idea who was the bored person who took a picture of the act of vandalism and showed him and ultimately saboh-ed me...so yea...i will be watching you..the more i think about it, the more it makes sense...bitch

so, soccer today was cancelled due to heavy rain.....but martin sang and me decided to play in the rain...so three of us trudged to the court while the rest decided to wait it out under the void deck and decided to just play shooting....

and it was the best therapy ever.

acting like monkeys, shooting randomly, falling over, slipping, laughing so fucking hard,getting wet like fishes in water and basically having raw good fun made me forget about everything from the F for lcomm to the hole in my underwear....

and i feel so bad for neglecting this group of frens cause of school and stuff...they have been with me since sec3 and i know i can always count on them...they have the most unorthodax way of dealing with my problems...i tell them, and they start making stupid comments...haha

like eg.

shep: sang i got F for client interview

sang: so?

see...haha so caring rite...this kind of nonchalence makes me wonder why i think about it so much...but it can backfire sometimes.....its the way he says it...which i am sure no one else can emulate

i am psychic....
F for lcomm client interview
more like an interrogation and form filling out session they say,
well i say,
fuck you.

with predictions like this, looks like contract is a disaster too...sorry if i let yall down with a bad grade or smth...i did try i guess

anyway since my predictions are coming true, italy for the world cup...what ukraine all....
if italy fall short of anything other than 3rd spot, i swear i will fucking be fucking pissed till i go NS...and once i come out of NS, i will be pissed....and then next world cup, i will be pissed...and its a never ending circle..... yes

yesterday,soccer.....today soccer......fri, soccer.... yes ur bored with this

and i was having a nice chat with my law hunks that day at bizpark... alvin always has this stupid nick...believe in miracles cause they come true.....

===================================================================

me: alvin,wtf why is ur nick always believe in miracles? miracles never happen

alvin: no got got! last time i bowling bad game blablablabla ( i stopped listening at this point)

me:fuck you la i mean miracles as in life experience kinda thing...yours was just they played like shit not your good or a ''miracle'' happened

wan: yes good things only happen to other people

me: yea if i was still a 10 yr old boy, maybe yea i would go,'' please i need a miracle'' but now,18 yrs into life, i know better then to do that cause i a miracle will never happen to me

===================================================================

yes there u go...miracles and good things only happens to everybody else

k so there is this thing called karma...
i can think of 2 ways it has been applied
first instance was today...k background history
at the last world cup....the so called ''pride of asia''
the fucking south koreans...managed to reach the semi finals and in the process knocked out spain and italy in two separate yet highly controversial matches...goals were wrongly disallowed and cancelled out for the europeans...so yea at this world cup, i am blogging straight after the italian victory..over australia...its about time lady luck(who is italian by the way) smiled upon us...an unlucky red card, a dive, last min penalty, last grasp defending..the italian captain,fabio cannavaro, is the perfect role model for any defender..as leo and i will testify anytime.....and there u go, karma
oh and do i mention that south korea didnt get anywhere? what? without any favourable decisions, found it hard to win huh huh huh huh?

the other thing about karma is that,
when something so shitty happens to person A, and he is so affected by it, he finds himself going through the motion in life, not caring about anything, just being a redundant robot in life, thinking that he is shit, life is shit, everything is shit...he thinks he will never recover...its a scar that will be visible for all to see and will never ever heal....

and then
football happens

now football is a funny thing...
the famous bill shankley said,''football is not a matter of life and death,it is more than that''
and i find this quote to be so apt
cause person A was so depressed and then he got caught up in the romance of the world cup..he finds himself smsing his frens, saying,
''if italy win, ice mocha on me''
hoping that karma will again play its part,
letting italy win just so karma can say
''HAHA now u have to pay for your frens, see la big mouth''
but person A didnt give a fuck he would pay for their lunches if italy won the world cup...and as francesco totti stood up to sweep in the penalty, he felt that emotional scar slowly close, as he shouted in his room so loud that the dogs next door howled...he did something that he never thought he could do..
he did not think about or mull over the incident that left him shattered,
he did not think about it for the whole of 5 mins...which was something he couldnt do for 24 hrs...and after that 5 mins, as he reflected, he realised, maybe its not worth getting so upset, even if she seemed so perfect
so maybe karma felt sorry for me because knowing now all i have left in life is football and frens,
it has decided to help me cope with this ''loss'' by letting italy win when it seemed so beyond them

maybe,just maybe
that scar might disappear
but the notion of what could have been,
will always be there

I will, and shall not, resort to smoking





despite recent revelations that its almost a certainty that contract and lcomm are failed subjects

contract: ferlin went thru the part of tang and mentioned something about incorporation and how chapelton v barry udc is a must...well it just so happened that i did that part and didnt use or talk about that case at all...sry for letting yall down if we dont get a good mark

lcomm: things cant be good if ferlin specially mentions ur group in a section on 'what not to do'


p.s i decided not to run for SU anymore....i cant dedicate myself to the students if i cant even get a decent gpa and do well in school...i will probably drop out of school or smth...and there is too much on my mind..yup ok thankyouverymuch

its funny how when things seem so perfect one instant, it can fall apart in the blink of an eye
its funny how people have different tolerance levels, you dont know whats too far or too much
its funny how sometimes you feel like shit, and you think you dont deserve that fren
its funny how the suffering of a fren,for a fren, makes you realise how much she means to her
its funny how sometimes u try to apologise, it only comes worse
its funny how awkward silence makes one picture the worst scenarios
its funny how you think it will be fine, at the same time your not sure, then ur sure, then your not all over again

more importantly, its funny how a small issue can feel like the end of the world cause they mean a lot to him

alrite some pics from the johor trip...i only uploaded a bit first as a teaser.......so be prepared for more pics in the following entries....

apparently, there is a slide leading down to the backyard, unfortunately, i saw it too late...this was the picture when i was playing a fool and went down another time..

the spare baggage... i mean the privileged few who had the chance to come to my JB house..from left: ridhwan, winsor, aqilah(blue), leo and ding
this was the alternative to the slide....slopes leading down...they were smiling cause they were laughing at me when i fell...motherfuckers
one of the many scenic backdrops at my resort...its really damn nice...except for the insects
the side few of my house...yes it has walls(i wonder why we didnt take any pictures of the interior)
on the bus there...half of us took bus and the other half rode in my dads car... so yea...we were bored
looking straight down the bus
on the mrt on the way to jurong east interchange to take the johore bus...duh i was bored..wan and winsors shoes respectively
this is the driveway leading to the sorta garage to the house...
my shoes..again, keyword being BORED

so yes this is it for part one of the johor pics...some of the pics are really dumb and no link but thats the way (uh-huh uh-huh) i like it ( uh-huh uh-huh)...yess so pray that i am bored tmr so i will upload the rest of the pics...

k some random pics that inez sent to me that i feel i should share with the world...its just nice k???me, with ding and inez...but forget about them...look at my innocent smile,the combination of colours, the arched back, the improvisation of the pose, the cool hair....oh my...i am drooling
look at this!!!! i look so tall( k not look, i am) and i look freaking muscular(k not look, i am)
cool rite??

hahaha before yall think i am in love with myself, i am just kidding k...this pictures were put up to show the wonderful frens i have in law; top photo being ding and inez and bottom photo wan winsor and alvin...pity some of them werent there...and not forgetting my frens outside of law...
but please keep in mind i love yall very very much...

pren porever choiiiiiiiiii
hahahaha

p.s i think i am mad...3 posts on 2 days...i am bored

Please just don't play with me

My paper heart will bleed

This wait for destiny won't do

Be with me please

I beseech you

Simple things,

that make you run away

Catch you if I can

Waiting, day to day it goes through

My lips, are sealed for her

My tongue is,

Tied to, a dream of being with you

To settle for less, is not what I prefer

on another note, sweden are gonna face germany! shit...c'mon sweden!

p.s wan and winsor, i know your gonna say ''aiya lyrics again'' but too bad! suck my nose...aku punya blog kan??? hehe

lets seee....MASSIVE recap

sat
we planned for a sleepover at inez's place...so after dropping my stuff at inez's place, winsor myself and of course inez, headed down to city hall to meet ding at work...yes work...so she sold some tea stuff...kinda..tea-y...then we ate at the food court there and we headed back to dings place so she can pick up her stuff...i know not many of you have heard of yew tee and neither did i so we headed there with the fear of the unknown...haha just kidding la yew tee is just like any other place except they still have the old school bus stops..the plastic seats kind...anyway so we headed down to her house..i played dota on her com...HAH so yea met the bros who were damn smart(what happened to u ding? =p) then we left to tampines to meet wan, leo and aqilah whilst winsor left...we watched the world cup games at this coffeeshop where wan and i made fun of the ah peks who consumed 50 bottles of beer...

me: where did the ah peks go?
wan: oh its half time they go home beat their wives

hahahaha anyway after that, we all crashed and burned at inez's crib

sun
leo and i headed down to stpats where he had his match and i was the official linesman for his game..haha so yea they lost...massively...and after the game, we trooped down to siglap to eat at pizza hut...then they all came my place later on to catch the brazil game and stuff...winsor the prodigal son came back...so whilst waiting for the match, we played cluedo...inez won flukishly while ding lost embarrassingly...never in my cluedo life have i seen someone make a wrong guess....haha lucky she isnt a sleuth of smth...so we watched the brazil game..another bore...so we all slept like sardines in a can of 2 beds...

mon
we all woke up surprisingly on time to head down to my JB house...so wan came after updating his passport at the very last min...bloody mat...then wan me and winsor took a bus down to JB while the girls inclusive of leo took a ride in my dads car...so we arrived and ate at a sarabat stall...then we arrived at my JB house and yea, it was good to be back..with frens on tow too...i found to walk around with them...dunno about them though..i think the girls were bored.. k anyway the guys swam while the girls slept and after that, we headed down to city plaza? sun mall? sun plaza? i forgot what its called..the guys shopped so we had fun but i knew the girls were kinda unhappy cause they couldnt get anything...k i apologise on my dads behalf...so we headed back to spore and absolom leo darshan spent another nite at my place...

tues
leo and i went to inez place to pick up his things...then inez and i went to bugis to meet halim,winsor and wan to just shop around...i was kinda happy at the end of the day cause i bought 2 shirts...wooo k pictures from jb trip coming soon....SUMPAH LAAAA

haha i just had fathers day dinner which involved the whole family eating take out and watching argentina tear serbia & montenegro apart 6-0 ... haha anyway this are the pics from sentosa woooooo
<---------- the artistic shot of me, wan and winsor... I TOOK IT! potential rite?










<-------- i took this picture cause of the horrendous and disgusting sight of crocs!!
orange nonetheless.....eeeeeeeeeee and the picture above this is the pic we took randomly to see if wan's camera could work...hahaha

top: winsor's and my boardshorts...mines cooler!


k thats all.....hahahaha and because of sentosa, i got sunburnt like a bitch...my whole back is red and i cant lean back...argh!

alrite a continuation of some pics from the food hunting day thingy...this was part 2 after we met inez at her workplace with ding her assistant part timer or rather, anytime-i-am-bored-i-will-come-down timer.....

introducing the monkeys ding and inez..i mean the wonderful and fantastic and
marvelous duo of ding and inez...k i preferred monkeys

inez's workplace: DREAMWEAVERS (no, not the computer programme)
i feel so talll!!! mahahah the dwarves are winsor and ridhwan
wan dared me to advertise sanitary pads

so in revenge, i made him harass a mannequin



voila....anyway i just realised i am screwed....first week of school, we have to present to our french teacher what we plan to do for our project and stuff...i dun even know who is in my group and shit...fuck...k looks like cds again in sem 2 and one more in 3.1

sorry for just posting pictures without words...its just some food-hunting outing that wan,winsor,ruz,shahira and myself attended at beach road...so yea

anyway, today was sentosa class outing day...woke up at 7 after sleeping at 5... so we headed down to sentosa to siloso beach...we just lazed around aimlessly...then around 2 we got bored and we left...so we ate at subway then we headed down to chimes to watch match then we went home...and i am a fucking idiot la...almost spoiled ridhwans camera...not say it isnt spoiled or in perfect working condition...i threw a ball, it hit wans face and the camera fell, and then it couldnt on....then after a while, it could switch on but couldnt take pictures...then in the cab, it could do everything before it fell...but still, it was freaking scary....i felt fucking bad...

i could blog about a big incident that happened but it wouldnt be necessary cause everythings cool now...i guess...yea

anyway,dont u just hate the feeling of being disregarded?
like your opinions dont matter?
like everyone just brushes your opinion aside?
just cause u like to laugh no one takes u seriously?

if yes, join the club

k bye

ah italy italy italy italy....wooooooooooooooooooooooooo
k i kinda like sweden now also....wooooooooooooooooo
k i dunno what to blog wooooooooooooooooo
better updates after tmr i swear wooooooooooooo
going sentosa wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

everything that can go wrong, has

alrite world cup on the way liaooooo
watched the opening match at inez's place with alvin,leo,ding,qilah and of course, the hostest with the mostest...mostest noise that is...so we had some alcohol...wasnt enuff regretably...but it was fun.... i think it was fun...anyway, i know how to use my scanner already...weeee some pictures of young me? haha anyway, i am watchinh the sweden vs trinidad & tobago match with the singapore ref being the main official....scary laaa do us proud please.... kkkk small shep

so yesterday after soccer, my frens and i were in a cab home...we started talking about holidays and the landmarks...and we somehow talked about the 7 wonders of the world....so there was the ancient wonders and now there are the modern wonders...so i always wanted to know what were the ancient wonders....but i was always lazy...so now being in law and all, research and shit, i went home and did some research and got some pics too...so i hope u find it interesting cause i sure as hell did....
The Mausoleum of Maussollos, or Mausoleum of Halicarnassus was a tomb built between 353-350 BC at Halicarnassus (present Bodrum, Turkey), for Mausolu a provincial king in the Persian Empire, and Artemisia, his wife and sister.
It was designed by the Greek architects Satyrus and Pythius. The structure was approximately 45-metres (135 feet) in height, and each of the four sides was adorned by a freize created by one of four famous Greek sculptors.
The finished structure was considered to be such an aesthetic triumph that Antipater of Sidon identified it as one of his Seven Wonders of the World.
The word mausoleum has since come to be used generically for any grand tomb, though "Mausol-eum" originally meant "in honour of Mausol".

The Colossus of Rhodes was a giant statue of the god Helios, erected on the Greek island of Rhodes by Chares of Lindos between 292 BC and 280 BC. It was roughly the same size as the Statue of Liberty in New York, although it stood on a lower platform. It was one of the Seven Wonders of the World.
The Statue of Zeus at Olympia is one of the classical Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. It was carved by the famed Classical sculptor Phidias (5th century BC) circa 435 BC in Olympia, Greece.
The seated statue occupied the whole width of the aisle of the temple that was built to house it. According to a contemporary source, it was about 12 metres (~37 feet) tall. "It seems that if Zeus were to stand up," the geographer Strabo noted early in the 1st century BC, "he would unroof the temple." Zeus was carved from ivory (technically the ivory was soaked in a liquid that made it softer, so it was probably both carved and shaped as necessary) then covered with gold plating (thus chryselephantine) and was seated on a magnificent throne of cedarwood, inlaid with ivory, gold, ebony, and precious stones. In Zeus' right hand there was a small statue of Nike, the goddess of victory, and in his left hand, a shining sceptre on which an eagle perched [1] Visitors like the Roman general Aemilius Paulus, the victor over Macedon, were moved to awe by the godlike majesty and splendor that Phidias had captured.
Hanging Gardens Of Babylon

According to accounts, the gardens were built to cheer up Nebuchadnezzar's homesick wife, Amyitis. Amyitis, daughter of the king of the Medes, was married to Nebuchadnezzar to create an alliance between the nations. The land she came from, though, was green, rugged and mountainous, and she found the flat, sun-baked terrain of the Mesopotamia (a region of southwest Asia) depressing. The king decided to recreate her homeland by building an artificial mountain with rooftop gardens.
The Hanging Gardens probably did not really "hang" in the sense of being suspended from cables or ropes. The name comes from an inexact translation of the Greek word kremastos or the Latin word pensilis, which means not just "hanging” but "overhanging," as in the case of a terrace or balcony.
The Greek geographer Strabo, who described the gardens in the first century BC, wrote, "It consists of vaulted terraces raised one above another, and resting upon cube-shaped pillars. These are hollow and filled with earth to allow trees of the largest size to be planted. The pillars, vaults, and terraces are constructed of baked brick and asphalt."

The Great Pyramid of Giza is the oldest and last remaining of the Seven Wonders of the World. Egyptologists generally agree the pyramid was constructed over a 20 year period concluding around 2560 BC. It is generally believed the Great Pyramid was built as the tomb of Fourth dynasty Egyptian pharoah Khufu (Cheops), after whom it is sometimes called Khufu's Pyramid or the Pyramid of Khufu. Khufu's vizier, Hemiunu, is credited as the architect of the Great Pyramid.
The Temple of Artemis was located in the ancient city of Ephesus, about 50 km south from the modern port city of Izmir, in Turkey. Like the other wonders, Antipater chose the temple for his list not because of its beauty or size, but rather because it rested near the border of the Greek world. This inspired a sense of mystery and awe for the Greeks, and emphasized Alexander the Great's vast empire.The Temple was designed and constructed around 550 BC by the Cretan architect Chersiphron and his son Metagenes. This early construction was built at the expense of Croesus, the wealthy king of Lydia. Marshy ground was selected for the building site as a precaution against future earthquakes, according to Pliny the Elder. The temple became a tourist attraction, visited by merchants, kings, and sightseers, many of whom paid homage to Artemis in the form of jewelry and various goods. Its splendor also attracted many worshippers, many of whom formed the cult of Artemis.
The Pharos of Alexandria was a tower built in the 3rd century BC on the island of Pharos in Alexandria, Egypt to serve as that port's landmark, and later, lighthouse.
With a height variously estimated at between 117 and 134 metres (440ft) it was the tallest man-made structure on Earth for many centuries, and was identified as one of the Seven Wonders of the World by Antipater of Sidon.
It ceased operating and was largely destroyed as a result of two earthquakes in the 14th century AD; some of its remains were found on the floor of Alexandria's Eastern Harbour by divers in 1994. More of the remains have subsequently been revealed by satellite imaging.
Constructed from large blocks of light-coloured stone, the tower was made up of three stages: a lower square section with a central core, a middle octagonal section, and, at the top, a circular section. At its apex was positioned a mirror which reflected sunlight during the day; a fire was lit at night. Extant Roman coins struck by the Alexandrian mint show that a statue of a triton was positioned on each of the building's 4 corners. A statue of Poseidon stood atop the tower during the Roman period.
The design of minarets in many early Islamic mosques many centuries later followed a similar three-stage design to that of the Pharos, attesting to the building's broader architectural influence.
Legends tell of the light from the Pharos being used to burn enemy ships before they could reach shore, however this is highly unlikely due to the relatively poor quality of optics and reflective technology in the time period in which the building existed. Only slightly less impressive - and probably more accurate - is the claim that the light from the lighthouse could be seen up to 35 miles (56 km) from shore

so that was the 7 ancient wonders of the world.....not eiffel tower and statue of liberty or what shit that my frens, myself or u would have thought...whahaha my personal favourite is the statue of zeus...its so freaking big...whats yours?

alrite... i like to think i have been shep the past few days...thanks for your outpouring of concern...its not like i wrote that entry just to get attention..i am not like that k...if u dun like it, u can stop reading my blog...like mr anonymous...anyway, todays accounts was lovely.... i love mr frederick.....such a good accounts teacher....so lcomm on thursday.....scary....make or break

k i am feeling better...blogging really helps...not to mention football with frens....i have to be up in 5 hours time to drag myself to ang mo kio to play in the national street soccer league...wish me luck!!!

hmmm lets analyze the phrase always look on the bright side of life shall we?

lets say someone gets 0 out of 5 for their letter assessment and its 5% of their overall result and everyone around this guy, same class or not, gets close to or even full marks...and their client interview,which consists of 20% of the same overall result, gets stopped halfway and it is described as an interrogation...and in contract consultation, he admits its his fault for getting a tongue lashing from his teacher as he didnt do his research properly and he lets his group down...so academically, he is done for...so much for a new years resolution of pulling up his GPA...

non-academically, sure he has frens, but how many can he count on? it sucks when people say ''wow you know so many people'' but in his head he goes ''yea but how many would take a bullet for me? how many would save me from drowning?" maybe there are one or two he can really count on when the chips are down but even then, he doesnt like to trouble them with his problems, as they have problems of their own...

love-life? HA rubbish...what love life....every single past relationship this guy has, has been a total failure...so why bother? why bother looking for a serious relationship now? so what if he is infatuated with a girl now? she isnt ready so why cant he get her out of his head? why cant he just move on? he thinks she is the one but why bother if its one way? wait? why wait? what if he waits and when she is ready, she doesnt want him? waste of time? what if the wait pulls off? too optimistic?

ah back to the first line...always look on the bright side of life....so whats my bright side? that i have my full life in front of me? but what if its better to not be alive? these things have a tendency to have a ripple effect in the future...example, low GPA at the end of year 2 means another fucked up GPA score for another year...so how to get a decent job when i graduate with a GPA of 2.02? bright side? what bright side? so yea dont always think of that phrase when someone is down...someone might just think that..

so anyway, i didnt wanna type out a emo entry...it started out as analytical...but blogging has a habit of making you pour your heart out subconsciously..airing out my grievances will lead to me not keeping it in so i can be that ''happy-go-lucky guy, with no concerns, no worries, no troubles'' that yall love...and everytime i am not, yall get so shocked like ''who is this guy? where is shep and what have you done with him?'' so yes let me be emo once in a while so i can carry on being happy outside but rotting and decaying inside. thanks

You can thank your lucky stars
That everything I wish for will never come true